Here are a few ambiance videos we all need...

W

hen I wake up at 2 a.m. with catastrophe on my mind (Did I start the dishwasher? Do they still make Tiny Chiclets gum? What’s the prime lending rate?), I sometimes stream 8-hour ambience videos like “Rain on Tropical Leaves” to lull myself back to sleep. I can’t explain why tropical leaves receive rain in a more soothing manner than regular leaves, but they do.

A few nights ago, when a video of “Himalayan Singing Bowls” (it’s a real thing) failed to settle my overactive consciousness, I found myself constructing scenarios for better ambience videos, because…that’s relaxing.

If you’ve never seen one, ambience videos typically show a relaxing set of vistas while playing ambient sounds consistent with the view—crashing waves for the beach, singing birds for a forest scene, and so on.

I now have plans to make an ambience video entitled, “Quiet Chirping of the Crickets I Don’t Have to Kill.” I enjoy a peaceful evening, complete with a chorus of singing crickets, but only if they’re singing somewhere in the trackless wild. When I hear a cricket chirping indoors, I feel an irresistible urge to hunt it down. That sounds a little aggressive. Maybe “Quiet Chirping of Crickets in the Wider World” is more humane. The video portion would be a twilight meadow.

I kind of want an ambience video that shows a crackling fire, with the sound of someone doing dishes in the next room. Why is this relaxing? First, it’s a fire, and a crackling fire conjures feelings of safety and security. Second, someone (not me) is doing the dishes. For variety, it could include the sound of someone starting the washing machine, or even running the vacuum cleaner in another part of the house. All those jobs being completed, none of them by me. I’d call it, “Soothing Sounds of Someone Else Doing My Chores.” It would be a lullaby tribute video to wish fulfillment.

Other sounds that could be soothing? How about “Creaking Saddle Leather with the Hoofbeats of a Good Horse Walking”? The video portion would feature alternating vistas from the rider’s point of view, as seen between the horse’s ears. Or how about, “Quiet Thump of a Dog’s Tail on a Hardwood Floor”? I think I’d return to a crackling fire scene for that one.

Here’s another idea: “Sound of Your Mom Beating Cookie Dough by Hand with a Wooden Spoon.” I would tack on, “In a Green Mixing Bowl.” The set we had came with blue, red, green and yellow bowls in graduated sizes. My mom mixed cakes and cookies in the green one. (She used the yellow size to let bread raise, with plastic wrap and a tea towel thrown on top.) I’m pretty sure the sound of someone making cookies would put me to sleep. The video would be a view through the oven door, where the cookies were slowly browning to perfection. I could fall asleep dreaming of chocolate chips.

More options abound. How about, “Wind Through the Power Lines on a Remote County Road”? Now and then, when you’re driving along the rural byways, pull over at an intersection where power lines converge, then sit awhile and listen. I like that lonely hum, especially on an overcast afternoon that promises evening thunderstorms.

A couple more classic ambience videos we need? “Hum of Cars on a Distant Highway, When You Have Nowhere in Particular to Be and a Comfortable Chair on the Porch.” Or maybe, “Keening of a Hawk on a Fall Morning.” The video portion could show a deep blue sky behind a canopy of fall foliage, with yellow and orange leaves drifting past.

I guess I’d better make that tropical leaves. Because, as we’ve already established, everything’s more soothing in the tropics.